So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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