Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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