need another drink. this is the easiest way
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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