how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
