a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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