Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
