Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
But break dance skills will only take you so far
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
