Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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