I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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