Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
