we have officially lost it.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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