Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
