Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
