Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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