marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
