I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
