There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
