And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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