I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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