Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
