He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
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Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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