This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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