things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
