hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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