Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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