I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
