I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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