Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
