I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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