just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
