When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
