Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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