You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
