In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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