we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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