I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
