This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
