he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
