OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
