i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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