My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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