No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
