So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
