Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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