got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I understand Curling. That high.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
