It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
as a side note pls kill me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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