there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
