I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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