My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
