If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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