i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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