its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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