I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
