Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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