Screwed.edu
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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