i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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