I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
