You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
