i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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