She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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