You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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